Lana puckett

When I was fourteen years old I lived in Madisonville Texas where I grew up with four brothers. My parents got divorced and my father moved away to take a better job. My mother broke her back when I was two,   so at a very young age i learned to help take care of my family.At this point I met Mike and at the time I felt as if he was my rock. It felt so good to be able to lean on someone for a change and Mike, for a time was that person. He was nineteen years old and naturally it didn’t take long for us to progress into a sexual relationship.

Then the abuse started. He would slap me across the face for no reason. I was not allowed to wear shorts and if you’ve ever been to Texas you can imagine how uncomfortable that was. Once, he took a knife and cut the halter under my shirt off. He told me that I was to NEVER wear a halter top again. I was not allowed to get in a vehicle with my friends and most definitely not allowed to go anywhere with them. I worked at a movie theatre and one night while I was cleaning up, for no reason He hung me upside down over the balcony  and thought it was funny with me crying so hard not knowing if he would drop me and my life could of ended.I was living in fear.

I didn’t tell anyone because i was SCARED and wanted  to PROTECT my mom and brothers from him.  Then i got pregnant.He must of known I was looking for a way out and he thought that by getting me pregnant he could maintain control over my life. So there I was, fourteen years old just leaving the Eighth grade and pregnant. NOBODY ever talked to me about birth control. I remember the last few days of school being sick in the girls room. Only God KNOWS the confusion,tears and fear I was feeling at this time.

I told my mother I was pregnant and she arranged for me to have an abortion in Dallas. At this point I was six weeks pregnant and had absolutely no idea what I was about to undergo. Before I knew what was happening I was laying on a cold table in a white room. My life would never be the same. When I left the clinic I saw other girls just like me. Young, scared and confused. It is something that has stayed with me my entire life.

Mike’s abuse continued for a few more months.. Until one day my mother, younger brothers and I moved to Maine where my mother was born. She wanted to live  closer to her family in Maine and   Mike was finally, once and for all out of my life forever.

One night at fifteen years old I was alone in our new Maine apartment. I turned on the television, flipped a few channels and stumbled onto a show about abortion. For the first time in my life I realized exactly what I had done. This film made it clear to me that I beared responsibility for the death of my child. I understood that at the time of conception a human being is conceived and that they deserve the right to live just as we do. Oh the pain I felt,  there are no words that could describe it. “My God, My God. What have I done?” I began crying and screaming. I ran into my bedroom, locked the door and cried for hours. I pounded the walls and cried out, “why?”. If only I had seen this film a year earlier I never would of had the abortion. I layed in the fetal position on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

I believe that every woman considering an abortion should have the information they need to make the correct decision. I am writting to President Donald Trump and VP Mike Pence who are both Pro-life and doing every thing I can to try and make it a law that before any woman has an abortion should have to see a film on abortion and be educated before  taking her own baby’s life and call it LANA’S LAW…..If I would of been educated on abortion my baby would be alive today and i would not have to carry this PAIN for the rest of my life.We need to realize that we are making a decision that will follow us for the rest of our  lives. We are so young, confused and scared that we don’t realize the horror of our choice until later in life. I have never been the same. For years I would cry for hours in the corner of my room. God has forgiven me but it took me years to forgive myself. The pain never leaves. I named my baby Michael after St Michael the Archangel and I know that I will hold him in Heaven.GOD IS PRO-LIFE and SATAN IS PRO-DEATH!! IT IS THAT SIMPLE!!ABORTION WILL BE OVER TURNED BY THE HAND OF GOD and ME AND MY FRIEND TRISH WILL BE AT THE WHITE HOUSE WHEN ABORTION IS OVER TURNED! Do not fight with ANYONE who say they are pro-choice but PRAY for them to SEE Gods TRUTH with GOD’S LOVE.!!! THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE IS DEATH, NOT CHOICE SO DO NOT LET SATAN FOOL YOU!!! Planned Parenthood does not care about the health of the mother or child but only cares about the MILLIONS of dollars being made to MURDER our precious helpless unborn.GOD SAID ENOUGH!! ENOUGH SELLING MURDERED BABY PARTS FOR FINANCIAL GAIN ,GODS SAYS ENOUGH.DO NOT LIVE IN THE FLESH WHERE YOU ONLY HEAR HATE,DECEPTION AND LIES  FROM SATAN BUT LIVE IN THE HEAVEN AND SPIRITUAL REALM WHERE YOU HEAR GOD’S VOICE AND GIVES YOU LOVE,WISDOM AND TRUTH!!!! GOD LOVES YOU MORE THEN YOU COULD EVER EVER…..IMAGINE….

I wrote a song named “If my womb had windows” and another named “Tears from the heart”. God willing I will soon write a book detailing my stance on abortion and my values as a Christian. If I can save just one baby it will be worth writing about and talking about the pain that I have suffered. Even though it is difficult still this is what God has called on me to do. I have not talked about this time of my life for years but whatever doors God opens for me concerning abortion I will be on the front lines fighting for the rights of all unborn children.

This is why I started For my baby in Heaven, for your baby and for all children who have yet to have their lives taken from them. For children on Earth who need us. For mothers who are hurting from an abortion. This website is for all of us. For anyone who is abused, lonely or tired of living this site is for you.  Anyone in a abusive relationship PLEASE get out and PLEASE  reach out for help and don’t hide the abuse cause it won’t go away and only gets worse.This site is to spread God’s love and for you to know that you are special no matter who you are or what you have done.We also need  to pray for the abuser.PLEASE reach out for help and ask for forgiveness.Jesus loves each and every one of us and together we can pray for peace on Earth. We can pray for our youth ,the abused, precious and innocent children on this earth who are unloved and abused  by their own mommy’s and  daddy’s but  are sooooo loved by Jesus and for our innocent little unborn.”BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB I KNEW YOU.”

I am going to build a church and it will be known as HEAVEN ON EARTH   This church will be dedicated to praying everyday for children who have been abused  and our precious helpless unborn who have NO VOICE  but WE CAN BE THEIR VOICE !! I  We will always be here for God’s precious children young and old, the unborn and everyone affected by the tragedy of abortion,miscarriage or loss of a child.There will be a wall in our church with the names of the unborn including baby Michael engraved upon it.  There will always be a candle lit to represent life. So that people can realize how many lives have been lost. If you are a parent who has suffered through an abortion, miscarriage or loss of a child and you would like the name of your unborn child on our wall please send me their names and as much information you feel comfortable sharing.  Our goal is to spread awareness through this website and the church to help women make the correct decisions with their lives and the lives of their precious children.4,000 women choose to abort every day.Thats about 1.5 million abortions each year.On my front page of this site look at the picture of baby Zoe Grace with her precious little hands clasps together like she is praying and also the picture of Mother of the unborn,the blessed mother holding an aborted baby with the precious little hands clasps together praying.God is SPEAKING through these little angels asking us to PRAY for the unborn and our innocent little children who only need our “LOVE!”

I know every baby lost or aborted goes directly to Heaven. A human hand should never end a life. The cries of the unborn reach God’s ears. A child in the mother’s womb is a human being from the moment of conception. Created in the image of God, to love and to be loved. Let us pray that nobody will fear protecting that little baby, to help that little baby reach the world healthy, happy, full of life and potential. Jesus said “If you receive a little child in my name, you receive me”. Life is the most beautiful gift from god to mankind. I have given my life to God and I will spend the rest of it helping others. Especially God’s little children and the unborn.Please lets help save the unborn!! PRAY everyday!! When prayers go up,blessings come down and i will pray every single day of my life for abortion to finally end.Martin Luther king had a dream for equal rights and God answered his prayers and many others..At one time this seemed impossible but with God all things are possible!! Martin Luther King’s dream did come true and that is because he was a true man of God Red and yellow,black and white ,we are ALL precious in his sight…..!We are ALL God’s children loved by our heavenly father who looks at what is in our heart and not at the color of our skin.Slavery was wrong and abortion is wrong and that is why I BELIEVE God will also hear our prayers and my dream will come true for abortion to finally end.Hand in hand lets pray for abortion to end. I am pro-life and if you are pro-choice I am not here to argue with you but only tell you I do not want anyone to feel the PAIN I have and there are no words to describe the sorrow in my heart and soul i have for my precious little baby that lost his life and praying his little life can help save others.”You saw me before i was born.Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment  was laid out before a single day had passed.”PSALM 139:16 NLT    God is Pro-life!!  “Before i formed you in the womb I knew “YOU” For crisis pregnancy help or post abortion counciling call too free 800-848-5683 or 800-395-help.You can also go to,,, and for additional help and support for life.

I love to read your comments and emails so please feel free to leave comments or contact me at If you would like to share your story with the STU community please feel welcome to do so.I pray this site blesses anyone who visits and that you feel the love of Jesus in your heart. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I truly hope you continue visiting the site and that you enjoy it as much as I do.

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If my womb had windows

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Fourteen years old and a young girl in love. Seemed all that mattered to me.
My boyfriend was all I had. All I would ever need.

Then one day I realized a change inside me.
I was just a child and this child was going to have a baby.

If my womb had windows I could truly see.
My precious little baby smiling back at me.

If my womb had windows, it would bring tears to my eyes.
To see so many mothers taking little babies lives.

But my womb had no windows so confused at the time.
I aborted my babied life and committed a terrible crime.

Tears floe down my face today, realizing what I’ve done.
God only knows the pain I feel for my precious little one.

If my womb had windows I could truly see.
My precious little baby smiling back at me.

If my womb had windows, it would bring tears to my eyes.
To see so many mothers taking little babies lives.

God knows the hurt I have inside each day of my life.
So if God gives you a child please oh please think twice.

Think about their precious life that God gave you and I.
That precious baby needs you mommy.
Please don’t let them die.

Oh if my womb had windows.

Tears from my heart

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I will fast today and for the rest of my life.
Cause I have tears from the heart and no one hears me cry.

Deep in my soul the pain never goes away.
I have to live with this pain each and every day.

Each day I speak my babies name and wish that he were here.
But my babies been aborted and my heart has another tear.

Tears from my heart continue to flow.
I was just a child, at the time I didn’t know.

I named my baby Michael and think of him every day.
I want to fast now for the ones aborted today.

Prayer and fasting is our father’s words.
We must pray to stop abortion.
We must stop the hurt.

I am screaming inside because of the deep pain.
No one knows the hurt I have. No one knows the shame.

It is hard to talk about and you want no one to know.
So tears from my heart continue forever to flow.

I want to stop abortion and I pray God hears my prayer.
Our precious ones are crying, yet we just stand here.

Tears from my heart, our precious babies too.
Their hearts are crying, crying out to me and you.

So I will fast today and for the rest of my life.
Cause I have tears from my heart and no one hears my cry.

  1. Trish Boncek Hafford
    January 13th, 2009 at 09:03
    Reply | Quote | #1

    I love you Lana, my dear, precious, angel friend. Thank you for your beautifully heartfelt brave story telling. I want too, to share my story on your web site. For if my story too can save a precious baby then it needs to be told. With the Grace of our Heavenly Father and our Blessed Mother pouring out her Motherly Blessings this website will succeed in saving precious lives.

  2. melissa edwards
    January 27th, 2009 at 23:02
    Reply | Quote | #2

    Thank you for sharing your story. I have not had an abortion but am deeply saddened by it. PLEASE don’t stop sharing your story and helping to stop this crime.


  3. jean jackson
    March 10th, 2009 at 05:16
    Reply | Quote | #3

    To my bestest friend in the whole world. I love you with all my heart. Thanks for sharing your story that can only come from the heart. When anyone carries the cross that you have carried all these years has a special place in Gods heart. Hopefully many little precious babies will get to know families and friends. I know my mom and your mom must be holdin and rocking your lil’Micheal in heaven. Lana knowing you and you having to go through an abortion had to be the most horrifing experience EVER. For your heart holds nothing but love. I have known you for 10 years as a best friend and you are the sweetest and the most caring person I know. I feel so blest to be in your life. I have never had to have an abortion and can’t even imagine how terrified you must have been. If only I could have been there to hold your hand and comfort you. God never intended for us to hurt the way you must have and my heart aches so much for you cause i know everyday is a constant reminder for the dicison some one else made for you. For this reason god has forgiven you 7 fold just as you have forgiven your self Cause Jesus has given you the courage and strenght to do just that.We both had rough a childhood but that is why we are stronger today and stil let Jesus in our hearts. For his is our saving light. Sometimes we feel so alone but we have to remember there are always Angels among us.To you Lana I love you so much . Jeanner

  4. tod alan
    March 10th, 2009 at 12:57
    Reply | Quote | #4

    i love you my precious sister and i m so proud of you….you are my hero and my best friend…xoxx your brother tod

  5. Angie Hafford
    March 29th, 2009 at 10:19
    Reply | Quote | #5

    Hi Lana,

    I am sitting here barely able to see through the tears in my eyes. I never experienced what you went through, but two months ago I did go through a miscarriage. I feel as though it wasn’t a miscarriage. I went through an ectopic pregnancy and was administered a drug that would basically “melt” the baby. I feel guilty that I chose my own life over it. The baby wasn’t developing and if it had, it may have ruptured my fallopian tube and claimed my life as well as the babies, but I cannot stop blaming myself for it. I feel as though I was punished. I hurt every day from this. And everyday I think of this loss. I have been told that it gets easier but it hasn’t yet. You are a brave woman to put your story out there and share with the world what you have gone through. There is a special place in Heaven for you Lana. You carry a pain inside of you that NO ONE will ever know the feeling of and I will do all that I can to help you show the world that each of those little precious miracles of life are worth giving the chance to live.

  6. April 1st, 2009 at 19:33
    Reply | Quote | #6

    Hi Lana
    It’s me, Serena. Great job on this website and on speaking up and sharing the truth about abortion. It needs to get out. God bless and keep you always.

  7. aprilhafford
    July 1st, 2009 at 01:28
    Reply | Quote | #7

    Auntie Lana,

    You are the most incredible, kind, caring woman I know. You telling your story has shown strength & bravery to help other women. I am so proud of you for standing up & fighting for what you believe in, know I am by your side 100%. You are an amazing woman..You making this website has inspired me to be more involved in educating women about abortion & helping any way I can. You have made such a difference in my life, when I was pregnant with my 2 girls, you comforted me & told me everything was going to be okay and it was. I believe you have helped me to be the Mother I am today and I am forever thankful for that. I do know how lucky my girls and I are to have you in our lives..You are a precious Angel here on earth..You are always in my prayers Auntie Lana, I LOVE YOU XOXO

  8. Tina Martin
    July 2nd, 2009 at 01:53
    Reply | Quote | #8

    You are an amazing woman and you have so much courage to speak your mind and do what you are doing. Bless your heart for caring so much to take this HUGE task on! I almost listened to my ex and almost had an abortion!! Thank God I didn’t. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have the most precious thing in the world to me in my life right now, and my mother (God rest her soul) would have never had the chance to be a memere for the first 2 1/2 years of Reece’s life. God Bless you, and I love you!

  9. Ellen Jenkines
    August 30th, 2009 at 22:56
    Reply | Quote | #9

    @tod alan
    Oh Lana and Tod, I cannot believe that all of this happened when you were living right next door to me. I knew that times were hard for all of you when your parents were divorcing but I had no idea what you were really going through. My heart aches for you Lana. I am so proud of both you and Tod. You were both such good kids and I am appalled to know what was really happening. I think of all of you all the time and have wondered what became of you. I cannot put into words what I am feeling right now…if I had only known. You and Tod are in my heart always and Lana, your story touched my heart and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Mothers always try to do the right thing for their kids but they don’t always consider the long term effects it has on their lives. I pray that Lana’s law is passed. I was thinking about you and Tod today and I Googled your names and it led me to you. God does work in mysterious ways. I would love to hear from both of you. Ellen

  10. Susan Stevens
    December 23rd, 2009 at 20:29

    Dear Lana,

    Many years ago – 37 to be exact – I was carrying twins. I was thrilled. I have never had an abortion but I also never allowed myself to feel what it must be like to go through one. I tried to be “UNDERSTANDING”.

    Also, 37 years ago, when I was carrying my two babies, I had problems with what is called the Rh Factor that 85% of us carry ( making a person + )and 15% of us who don’t have this “Factor” ( making those of us – ). I was Rh NEGATIVE ( – ), most human beings are Rh POSITIVE ( + ). It really doesn’t mean much by itself. It’s like having blue or brown eyes, black or blonde hair, freckles or none.

    This Rh Factor ( + OR – ) does not affect the health of the person who is either + or -. Also there are 4 blood types – A, B, AB & O. I believe O + is the most common and O – is called the universal doner because a “POSITIVE” O Rh person can receive blood from a “NEGATIVE” O person. The “Rh” name is taken from the Rhesus monkey, which has a “protein” on part of it’s blood cell, itself. It’s really more complicated than that but simply put – most human beings also carry this “FACTOR”, as I mentioned above – 85% of all humans have this Rh + Factor.

    I do not carry this Rh Factor making me a ( – ). I had had two really fine, wonderful, HEALTHY pregnancies before the 3rd pregnancy with the twins. During the time I had my other babies – some of their POSITIVE blood escaped into my system and caused me to form antibodies against their Rh POSITIVE blood. By the 3 pregnancy and with TWO babies in my womb, my body went crazy and formed the highest amount of antibodies to the POSITIVE Rh Factor that was now “escaping” into my body, from 2 babies – in addition – ADDING to the antibodies that I had already developed during the first 2 preganacies.

    Sounds complicated and it is and isn’t. Anyone can look this up in or any other search engine on the Internet. I only mention the REASON behind my loss – so that it might help other women. Now, however, there is medication in the form of an injection that can keep Rh NEGATIVE women from making antibodies that can kill or harm their developing baby.

    Back in the days I was having children, this injection only became available AFTER my first baby – so I had already started making those killer antibodies. I was told then the anti-antibody injection wouldn’t have done any good. I don’t know for certain IF it would have helped or not. There seems to be divided opinion on that.

    The PROBLEMS arise when an Rh NEGATIVE MOTHER has a baby that is POSITIVE. The incompatibility in the ( + ) and ( – ) aspects of the blood can be mild to severe, including the death of the baby/babies.

    In my case, with my two beautiful twins on the way – by the 5th month in my womb – the antibodies to this Rh factor that I carried, killed one of my twins.

    Just today I looked online at what the actual size of my poor dead baby had been at his/her’s 5th month of Life within my womb.

    I was stunned. The baby is quite large at that age and I mourn all over again. What would he/she have been like? Would my twins have been identical? Would the dead baby have been a boy? The questions never cease.

    I asked my doctor what HAPPENS to the baby who passed away. He told me that the deceased baby is re-absorbed totally or almost totally back into the uterine environment.

    I read online today that THAT is exactly what happens and worse.

    I thank Lana for showing the picture of the baby in the little crib at 5 months of pre-birth age. I had no idea – for 37 years – what my baby approx. looked like. I never looked it up before, although photos of all stages of pre-birth babies have been around for decades. I think it’s because I couldn’t do it.

    SEEING the approx. size of my baby who didn’t make it – was just too painful – AND – REAL – but today I could face it. It only took 37 years.

    Then I came across your web iste, Lana. God was/IS working in my own personal journey of grief and acceptance. I don’t know if I have reached “acceptance” yet – I just grieve taht baby. I know I will see him/her in Heaven but I am just coming to grips with what could have been.

    Back 37 years ago when this happened, I shut down. I couldn’t deal with it – so I just went numb. I NEVER thought about this event until a couple of years ago – BUT -now I mourn, with all my heart, the loss of this baby. My SOUL cries out to him/her. Since this baby was a twin, I did not miscarry. From my reading today, I thank the dear Lord for the healthy birth of the remaining twin. So many things can happen to the remaining twin in situations like this – including his/her death too – even after birth.

    My remaining twin was a girl and she had some minor birth defects ( probably from the HIGH antibody count in my body that traveled through the placenta to her little body! ). Because of this, she had to have 2 “booster” transfusions of packed red blood cells, at one week after birth and then again at just before 3 weeks after birth. But that was all that happened to her. She did have the jaundice that many times accompany an Rh baby but it had no lasting effects. She also has one kidney quite a bit smaller than it’s counterpart – but it works fine. She is a healthy young woman of almost 37 years with a son of her own. Since she is a ( + Rh ), she will never have to worry about her Rh Blood Factor and I thank the dear Lord for that too.

    Thank you so much for providing a place for we mothers who have lost a baby/child, by whatever means. I have a friend who lost 4 by unknown reasons. She finally had a LIVE birth with a resulting son and now grandson!

    I lost my baby and don’t even know what sex the baby was. The literature on this type of medical problem mentions mostly the effects on IDENITICAL twins. Those effects seem to be much more severe than what my surviving baby experienced – so it’s still a mystery what that other little soul was.

    Lana, I’d like him/her mentioned in your church but don’t know what to name this baby. I can’t believe I NEVER even spoke of the entire event until just a couple of years ago. How could I have buried the feelings for over THREE DECADES?

    I was never in a position to HAVE to even consider an abortion but even so my BODY’S DEFENSE mechanism ( via the antibodies that built-up & GREW ) actually killed one of my twin babies and that makes me feel horrible. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t face it until now?

    There is so much support now and I thank you for it! You have – by sharing YOUR story – having your web site available as a resource, a place to communicate and share – helped me to get “somewhere” with my feelings about what happened to me – who was that little baby of mine? I can THINK about him/her now and relish the time when I will eventually SEE her/him! I can even think about the joy he/she gave while still here during those 5 months of pre-birth!

    I hope all the technical stuff about what can happen in an Rh pregnancy didn’t confuse people or add too much extra verbage.

    Blessings to all the women who come here or haven’t come yet! Susan

  11. January 19th, 2010 at 05:03

    Thanx Susan for sharing your beautiful story!! Please send me your e-mail so i can write to you personally and God willing when our church is built you can put your baby’s name in our church and it will cost you nothing but will write to you more on this when you e-mail me….God will answer all your questions through prayer as he did me… e-mail is…..
    your new friend in christ,
    Lana hugs

  12. July 9th, 2018 at 23:54

    CONTACT INFORMATION : cell- 207-231-0800 Lana Puckett

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